Loneliness

2007-05-13, 4:00 a.m.

What is loneliness? Jaded thought patterns? Sleepless days and nights? I do not understand all the signs yet. I am waiting, in hopes that the patterns have meaning, that the fragments will form crystallized realization.

Be saved, or save yourself. Which is it that I wish for? Both, perhaps.

What makes one afraid who has nothing left to fear?

I have survived too many things, each weaving like webs carved over my skin in their delicate intricacy; but these are not scars that are seen by the world. Revealed yes, sighted, no.

On some days, I find myself wishing purely for empathy. I wish that someone could hold me. Not with the regurgitated methods of jaded lovers, not the temporary gifts of friends, but somehow, something more permanent.

People watch on while hearts break and minds collapse. It is our nature.

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