Unconditional Love

2004-08-25, 1:05 p.m.

I want to be loved. Really loved, completely and honestly. I want someone to see every depressing, screwed up aspect of me and love me for it. Not in spite of it because of it. I want someone to see everything that's "wrong" in me and think it's beautiful. I want to be able to fuck up a million times and know that no matter how pathetic I get, there'll be someone to whom none of that matters. I want to be wanted for me - for who I am, what I think, and how I love; not for what I accomplish, or what I look like, or how well I do or don't live up to everyone's expectations. I want to relax, to not feel like I have to be near perfect in order for people to want me in their lives. I'm sick of feeling like I have to put on a show for everybody.

I want to tell people that I'm sad. I want to tell them I'm scared, that I miss my mother, that I want to be a writer, that I hate my body, that sometimes I get so lonely I can barely breathe, and I don't want to get any wierd looks, or sighs of disappointment, or frantic pleas to seek therapy. I just want a smile, and a hug maybe, and "That's what I love about you!"

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